collection begun 1989
served 10 dollops at at time

Long distance relationships are like playing russian roulette with five loaded chambers.

I'm currently trying to franchise a chain of parlors that offers pubic hair extensions to women under the name "Weave It To Beaver".

"The fact that slaughter is a horrifying spectacle must make us take war more seriously, but it does not provide an excuse for gradually blunting our swords in the name of humanity. Sooner or later, someone will come along with a sharper sword and hack off your arms." -- von Clausewitz

A good landing is one you can walk away from. A great landing is one where you can reuse the plane.

There's a difference between turning the other cheek and taking it face down.

Well, I do care, and I don't care if I shouldn't care.

Illuminati
Now
Rule
Internationally

"I kept hearing how great The Lord of the Rings was supposed to be, so I read it. It turned out to be nothing more than a shameless rip-off of The Sword of Shannara." -- some moron

Beck and Hannity are the Crabbe and Goyle of the GOP.

It seems the less a statesman amounts to, the more he loves the flag.

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have come here seeking enlightenment